I can kind of empathise with the Labor Party after Saturday.
I can kind of empathise with the Labor Party after Saturday.
An unusual AFL season has thrown up the most unlikely of scenarios: after a Showdown win, another Carlton loss and the Crows’ mad scramble up the ladder, for the first time in a long time our Fumbles correspondent has nothing whatsoever to complain about.
It may not have been pretty… in fact, it was hideously, egregiously ugly. But for the first time this season, the Crows have won in the same round that Port have lost – an event so long coming it’s almost worth raising a glass, if only our Fumbles correspondent could.
Between keeping track of the Crows rescuing their season from the brink, Port’s continually-annoying rise, Carlton’s questionable tanking and Paddy Dangerfield’s Brownlow-baiting, our Fumbles correspondent is losing sight of what constitutes ‘normal’ football-watching behaviour.
It’s worth remembering that on the original Easter weekend everything seemed to be going pretty shithouse on Friday night, but by Sunday everything had turned out great.
Sure, the Crows look a shadow of their former selves and played so poorly we can’t even really revel much in Port’s shock loss or Carlton’s last-gasp bid to give us pick one in the draft… but our Fumbles correspondent is still scratching for positives.
The Crows were well and truly pantsed by the visiting Cats, but our Fumbles correspondent has found a few bright spots amid the gloom of a despondent Round Three AFL outing.
It’s apt that the Crows have chosen their bye-week to wave ‘bye-bye’ to their increasingly wretched season. Fans want answers, and our Fumbles correspondent has found them – in the form of an incredible, never-before-seen spray from an architect of Adelaide’s premiership double.
The Crows are in freefall, as the almost-champs of 2017 risk becoming the chumps of 2018. And, to add insult to considerable injury, Port have knocked off the reigning premiers and are primed for a dream run to September. It’s enough to summon our Fumbles correspondent back from his own mid-season malaise to find some consolation in retail therapy.
Two seasons ended this past weekend: Autumn and the troubled 2018 campaign of the Adelaide Crows.
I’m not angry, just disappointed. Oh, and also angry.
Kurt Tippett, the man Crows supporters love to hate, has announced his untimely AFL retirement. To commemorate the auspicious occasion, InDaily returns to a vintage Touch Of The Fumbles – in which correspondent Tom Richardson finally makes peace with Adelaide’s greatest football villain.
When you have started to believe that, as The Killers would put it, destiny is calling you, ‘tis a sad thing indeed to suddenly realise at the end that you have been all along nothing more than a supporting character in someone else’s fairytale.
You’d like to think that we’re better placed than the Tigers to break our drought, but we are, like them, perpetually haunted by history.
There are moments that have always stuck in my mind from the Crows’ 2006 preliminary final loss to West Coast, which still ranks as the worst defeat I’ve endured as an Adelaide supporter.
When you actually stop and think about it, Port’s heartbreaking exit after an epic draw-into-extra-time elimination final wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t put in such a relatively half-arsed effort against the Eagles in Round 23.
The finals are finally here. Well, almost. Which means it’s time for a key Adelaide midfielder to get hit with an unforeseen medical emergency. After all, as our Fumbles correspondent observes, we’d hate to break with tradition, wouldn’t we?
If anyone’s looking for the archetype of Ambivalence, Thursday night helpfully provided one: when your former best player kicks the winning goal against your least favourite team.
It was as convincing a win as an unconvincing win can be, and our Fumbles correspondent is looking on the bright side. After all, there are worse teams to support than flat track bullies.
As Oscar Wilde would have probably written if he’d had the misfortune to be an Adelaide Crows supporter: To lose one game against a middle-rung opponent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Normal service was resumed on the weekend, as the Crows reverted to type by failing spectacularly to live up to the hype. Fortunately, so did almost every other contender – including Port. And despite the crushing disappointment, our Fumbles correspondent is, perversely, looking on the bright side.
The footy is back – but not as we know it. Touch Of The Fumbles columnist Tom Richardson celebrates a history-making weekend and the novelty of a Crows win in the summer rain, as he ponders the future prospects of AFLW.
After the Crows’ dizzying success in last week’s AFL trade period, InDaily can exclusively reveal this fly-on-the-wall account of the desperate efforts to keep Jarryd Lyons at the Adelaide Football Club.*
The nation has been enraptured by the Cinderella tale of the Western Bulldogs, the AFL’s most unlikely premiers. But, in his final Touch Of The Fumbles for 2016, Tom Richardson spares a thought for the forgotten hero of the Grand Final.
I’m sure there was a moment – I’m guessing sometime early in the second term on Friday night – when Paddy suddenly felt that nagging, distantly-familiar feeling that he was destined to be the standout player in a losing side.
It wasn’t all beer, skittles and premierships in 1997.
The Crows’ winning streak is over, cruelled by a lacklustre third term and a sea of Corey Enrights. But Tom Richardson is looking on the bright side. After all, it could be worse. We could be Port Adelaide.
Of all the recollections of our enduring 300-game veteran Scott Thompson that suggested themselves this week, the one that reappeared to me from some long-banished recess of my subconscious occurred before he’d even pulled the boots on for Adelaide.
This was quite possibly the worst week ever.
The Crows won, Port lost – and both at the same time. And Paddy Dangerfield’s Cats went cold to boot. Who said a week wasn’t a long time in football? Certainly not Tom Richardson.
The Crows lost, Port won and Paddy Dangerfield played a personal best against the reigning premiers. That sounds like a cue for Tom Richardson to return for another season of grumbles – and Fumbles.
Our AFL column Touch Of The Fumbles makes a surprise return to say Howdy to Doedee, ponder cardiology and explain the surprisingly simple academy bidding process.