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Touch of the Fumbles

Touch Of The Fumbles: Poetry emotion

Touch of the Fumbles

For a moment it seemed like pure poetry: a comeback was on the cards at the Cattery and all was right with the world. At least until Geelong piled on seven of the next eight goals.

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So here we are; another week with a few promising signs, a few more worrying ones, that familiar passing sense of hope duly buried under an avalanche of final quarter goals.

Following a team through a concerted rebuild is, no doubt, a cavalcade of emotions.

And after five weeks now of unremarkable performances against, for the most part, solid opposition, one is conscious that there’s only so many times one can ponder the same predicament without sounding like the proverbial broken record.

It would, for sure, have been nice – and important – to beat just one of those finals-bound teams we played in the past four weeks… not to mention the non-finals-bound team we played (well, sort of) five weeks ago to kickstart the present malaise.

But while we showed signs in each of the past few matches, in the end we just couldn’t get it done.

But still – 42 points against the Cats at home seems about right given where the respective sides sit.

And, of course, it could have been worse.

77 points worse, as Port Adelaide can attest.

But given the recent – and counter-intuitive – sense of ill-founded optimism we’ve been peddling here at Fumbleland, it’s time to urge a note of caution.

And to avoid repeating a well-worn script, we’ve deemed the best way to do so is via the medium of rhyme.

So here is a Fumbles poem, entitled:


Don’t Lose This Weekend


If Adelaide aspires to be

A model of consistency

We should be glad

Again we had

No radar for the goal posts.

So on our misses we can bet

But that aside, have no regret

For most fans reckon

triumph beckons

Unless we lose to West Coast



We’ve never really seemed to be

Much chop down at the Cattery

No cause for cheers

In 19 years

Our record is dismaying

But still we can at least take heart

We rallied from a wasteful start –

Until we ceased,

Consoled at least

That Danger wasn’t playing

This was the kind of loss that really gets up your nose. Photo: Rob Prezioso / AAP


The dream now, while it seems forlorn

Is to revive our early form

At 3 and 3

On track were we

Our critics to confound.

But winless in the month of May,

Now 3 and 8, we pissed away

Our start, but grope

For one last hope:

Unless we lose next round



At first supporters seemed quite chilled

About the looming Crows rebuild

But a formline slouch

And playing Crouch

Has made the fanbase madder.

Yet looming seems a winning streak –

Potentially, unless next week

We can’t defeat

The team we meet

That’s 18th on the ladder



Our horror run is at an end

On victory we should depend;

On form alone

We should get home,

It isn’t rocket science.

But as all Crows supporters know

That’s when we’re most inclined to go

all weak at heart,

and fall apart:

Like when we play the Giants



These past two years at least have brought

Some classic victories, which ought

To be a sign

That over time

The seed will come to flower.

We’d say, if we were optimists,

We’ve beaten both grand finalists,

The Cats last year,

And how we cheered

When Dawson killed the Power



Whose comeback from a winless start

Has been a dagger to the heart;

They’re now 5-6,

And in the mix

For an unlikely finals berth.

And, while their formline’s still quite fitful,

The very prospect’s rather shitful.

But still more grim,

If we don’t win

Against the team from Perth



Port Adelaide threatened to mend

The remnants of a dire weekend;

A Bomber tide

Did near provide

Enjoyment in the utmost.

While Sam Powell-Pepper’s scoring woes

Reminded of the wasteful Crows,

And Port look tame,

They can yet claim

They didn’t lose to West Coast

SPP crashes into Sam Draper yesterday. Photo: Michael Errey / InDaily


So while our early season form

Has tapered off, don’t be forlorn;

We still can give

A positive

Or two, such as O’Brien

And Soligo has staked a claim

In only four-and-one-third games

While it looks like Fog’s

A useful cog

If he doesn’t join the Lions

Jake Soligo has shown good signs in his first year. Photo: Rob Prezioso / AAP


Our next three games are winnable,

And failure won’t be spinnable

In two of three;

We need to see

Results from our endeavour.

For while Gold Coast are charging forth

We really shouldn’t lose to North:

An albatross,

would be that loss –

We’d carry it forever.



But one week at a time, for now.

We dust ourself off, on we plough:

And pray our purchase

Of D.Burgess

Will help us find a riposte

For those who say we’re treading water.

It doesn’t need to be a slaughter,

But just ensure

We get Win Four –

And please don’t lose to West Coast!


Touch of the Fumbles is InDaily’s shamelessly biased weekly football column, published on Mondays during the AFL season.

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