Richardson: A COVID Christmas Carol
Opinion
Eased restrictions are off, Omicron is surging and 2021 is ending on a distinctly downbeat note. So it’s time to turn to a Christmas classic.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and best we could see
Not a creature was stirring in our CBD
Families were huddled in homes, sight unseen
In hopes that they wouldn’t catch COVID-19
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
Well away from the places that spark super-spreads
And with Mali in iso, and Jay in Tom’s Court
Labor’s brains-trust had settled to withdraw support
The Government watched the case numbers with dread
While visions of polling day danced in their head;
For in the electorate there arose such a clatter
It wasn’t too hard to see what was the matter
The AHA lobbied for strictures to ease
But instead found their members were feeling the squeeze
As the state went to ‘COVID Lots’ from ‘COVID Zero’
And Marshall went much the same way, ‘Nought’ from ‘Hero’
As, aiding an overall sense of disorder,
Was mixed information on closing the border
And quarantine mandates went down, up and back
‘Twas hard to know whether the plan was on track
For the Delta strain all of our modelling was on
Was all but usurped by the new Omicron
When what to our wondering eyes did appear,
But a Premier with plans for a COVID New Year
His Committee they met at State Admin Headquarters
As he called them by name to account to reporters
‘Now Spurrier! Now Stevens! Let’s test ‘em and blitz ‘em!
‘Now Wade and McGowan! Let’s ease some restrictions!
‘At Victoria Park they’ll be lined up in cars,
But no dashing or dancing or prancing in bars!’
And while the state fawned under SAPOL authority
The elected Lib Government slid to minority
With Cregan in Kavel and Duluk in Waite,
And Ellis and Bell with their scheduled court date,
When Chapman’s stalled port on KI did impede her
The Libs had to find a new deputy leader
With DVHP nudging out David Speirs
The party’s now hoping the storm disappears
And Teague taking over, for a few pre-poll hours,
Vickie’s ministry (or, rather, its functions and powers)
So with chaos in politics and broader SA
It’s time to lay low for a quiet Christmas Day
After pandemic hijinks throughout 2020
‘21’s been no fun, and there’s still angst aplenty
As ’22 dawns; but fear not, give a whistle
And fire up the grill with a snag or a rissole
As we face the new year with resolve and persistence
And gather with loved ones, at appropriate distance
And hope that our hospitals aren’t overloaded
Happy Christmas to all, and bugger off COVID!
Tom Richardson is a senior reporter at InDaily.
Additional reporting by Clement Clarke Moore.
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