Many Australians, like me, shop online because the service and choice offered by local retailers is woeful.

Frankly, I’m getting sick of what’s being served up by business operators who have forgotten the fundamentals of good service, quality products and after-sales service.

In recent months I’ve wasted time and effort trying to deal with locals and I’m close to giving up.

There’s the alfresco blinds business that took away a defective blind to be repaired – 11 months ago.

And then there’s the vacuum cleaner guys – six weeks to repair a rubber hose and then a disguised declaration of failure.

More on these two sad sack cases shortly. They came to mind when reading last week’s report that Australia’s love affair with online shopping is robbing businesses and state governments of much-needed revenue and operating as a kind of “reverse tariff” against a struggling retail sector.

The claim was made by former Victorian Labor premier John Brumby in his role as chairman of the Council of Australian Governments Reform Council.

Brumby was calling for the imposition of GST on sales under $1000 to discourage online shoppers.

It’s not the GST, Mr Brumby – it’s the poor service.

Let’s get back to the vacuum cleaner guys.

At issue here is the rather simple repair of a hard-floor wet and dry vacuum cleaner, purchased originally for around $500 and not something you casually throw out and replace.

A year ago when two of the wheel rubbers went, I couldn’t get replacements at any South Australian outlet, so I bought them online from some dude in the USA.

This time, it was the 25cm of reinforced rubber hose inside the cleaner that had split.

I took it to an Adelaide vacuum cleaner outlet.

“No worries,” said the vacuum cleaner man.

“We can fix that. We’ll ring you when its ready.”

But it would not be so simple. I could take the risk of expensive repairs, or sign up for a special $99 deal that included free services for the next five years.

So, that’s what I  did.

Two weeks went by and no call from the vacuum cleaner man.

On my return to the shop, he was mystified as to why it had not come back from the service centre (which was closed after 3pm and not contactable).

He would ring me, he said, when this was sorted.

Another two weeks and still no call.

When I went back to the shop, there was the old cleaner, neatly wrapped in a new plastic bag.

The vacuum cleaner man, however, had bad news.

“It’s unrepairable,” he said.

“The parts are no longer available.”

Stunned that the vacuum cleaner manufacturers had departed from the age-old use of reinforced rubber hose, I suggested to the vacuum cleaner man that perhaps someone, somewhere, would be able to source this now rare commodity.

He was right onto it – and he’d ring me when it was sorted.

Two weeks later I returned.

“Yes, it’s here,” said the apologetic and apparently more senior salesman.

With the cleaner in another new bag, he moved swiftly to the door, asking which was my car and assuring me that his junior would be counselled for his communication failures.

He wished me well as he packed it in the boot and off I went.

Half way home, it occurred to me that the salesman was overly keen to have me on my way.

I was resigned to disappointment when I got home and opened the bag to see a tag on the cleaner with a message from the service centre to the junior vacuum cleaner man: “Just sending it back doesn’t change the fact that we can’t repair it.”

I rang the shop and asked what it was about reinforced rubber hose that made it so difficult to find.

“Nothing to do with us,” he said.

“You’ll have to take it to the service centre and ask for Peter and he’ll explain.”

Peter, of course, knocks off at 3pm.

Instead, I went online and here’s what I discovered.

The Hoover Floor Mate 3000 is no longer sold in Australia.

The new models are slightly different.

No-one, it seems, carries spares for the 3000 – except for Ezyparts in the USA where the Hoover 3000 is still popular.

The piece of hose, attached to the relevant parts at either end in one neat unit, cost $15 and postage was $9.

The undoing of two screws made installation simple.

And the Hoover Floor Mate 3000 is back to its good old self.

Sorry vacuum cleaner man – you and your boss will never see my wallet again; and I’ll be writing to your franchise head to ask for my $99 back.

As for the alfresco blind – I’m still engaged in that battle.

The company that sold it to us and installed it took it to be repaired away after it had fallen on my head.

That was 11 months ago.

I lost count of the number of calls and visits I made to to office of the two Dodgy Brothers that operated this business.

Emails went unanswered.

Three emails to the business that actually makes the blinds and licences people to sell and install have also gone unanswered.

The creditor who took over the installation business promised to make good and return my blind – that was three months ago.

He wants money up front to make a new one.

Not this little black duck.

Sure, some businesses are doing it tough because of increased competition from cheap imports or the online offerings.

But if you’re no good at what you do, legislated protection from competition won’t help you.

Just ask the guy that sold me an electric golf buggy.

It’s more expensive than the online products, but every time I’ve gone back with a repair need or looking for a part, he fixes it on the spot and is yet to charge.

Good old fashioned service in an Adelaide suburban workshop; and that’s why I’ve recommended him to half a dozen fellow players who’ve all bought a buggy from him.

He’s still in business.

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