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Stop making excuses for men who hurt women

Apr 20, 2015
Protesters call for an end to sexual violence at the Reclaim the Night rally. Photo: AAP

Protesters call for an end to sexual violence at the Reclaim the Night rally. Photo: AAP

A woman who is raped receives a life sentence.

She will never again feel completely safe – either in her home or in public. Her relationships will be affected, her dreams haunted, her soul scarred.

Those of us who have never suffered such brutality can’t really imagine what that must feel like. But anyone who knows a sexual assault survivor understands that there is no early release for them.

This month in Adelaide, the Court of Criminal Appeal overturned the 18-year sentence imposed on a rapist, reducing it to 15 years with a non-parole period of 10.

In 1999, the man had broken into a woman’s house, armed himself with a knife, tied her up with duct tape and sexually assaulted her more than 100 times in multiple different ways over four hours. The victim said she thought she was going to die.

The offender wasn’t arrested until 2012, when he initially denied the crimes, but eventually pleaded guilty to charges including five counts of rape and false imprisonment.

In his appeal, his counsel submitted that 18 years with a non-parole period of 13 years was “a crushing sentence”.

The Court of Appeal judges agreed it was too harsh, given the rapist’s prospects of rehabilitation and his personal circumstances.

In comparison to the terms imposed for similar offences, that is likely true. But the line that echoes loudest in the judgment is this:

“The defendant is now 50 years of age. A lengthy sentence will have a significant effect on the rest of his life.”

No woman would read those words without imagining the effect the rape has inevitably had on the rest of the victim’s life.

If the original sentence against this man was “manifestly excessive”, then perhaps that means the sentences in other cases are manifestly inadequate.

Last month in Sydney, a young man was jailed for five years (and will serve a minimum of just three years) for raping an 18-year-old girl in an alleyway.

That sentence will seem inadequate to many, but what is more shocking is the fact that character references for the rapist – son of a prominent nightclub owner – were provided by everyone from a mayor to a rugby league club chairman and a parish priest. They urged the judge not jail him because of he was a “promising young man” of good character.

And what of the victim?

In her victim impact statement, quoted in a Fairfax newspaper report, she said that in the two years since the rape, she had cried until she “couldn’t breathe, crying until I physically couldn’t any more”.

“I’ll never be who I was. I had to rebuild myself with what I had left.

“A part of me died that day, the part that trusted others.”

At a time when violence against women in this country appears to be escalating, people need to stop making excuses for men who brutalise women.

A man of “good character” does not rape. There is no excuse. There should be no leniency.

And there should never, ever be a suggestion that anything a woman has done, said or worn has in any way contributed to her becoming a target.

Violence against women is society’s problem. It’s a problem caused by men; it’s certainly not a problem caused by women.

Girls and women grow up looking over their shoulders. It begins when our parents first decide we’re old enough to be left at home alone, and we keep a cricket bat or hockey stick at the back door “just in case”. We walk quickly down dark streets, avoid certain places and hold our keys between our fingers as weapons when crossing echoey carparks.

We do this instinctively; we don’t need to be warned.

It’s ironic that some Westerners who criticise strict Muslim cultures that require women to cover their faces and not leave their homes unaccompanied by a male relative think it’s acceptable to tell women they should not walk alone in parks or avoid wearing certain types of clothing that might invite “unwanted attention”.

In both instances, the implication is that women somehow invite sexual attacks; that the male perpetrators are not wholly responsible for their actions.

But even if we never left our homes, we wouldn’t be safe, with domestic violence statistics showing that at least one Australian woman is killed every week by someone they know.

There have been some truly horrific stories of violence against women in this country in the past 12 months, the most recent being the killing of New South Wales teacher Stephanie Scott on the eve of her planned wedding.

That case has particularly horrified Australians. Yet there should be no hierarchy of horror when it comes to violence against women. Every woman – no matter her circumstances, personal history or where she lives – has a right to feel and be safe.

A spate of one-punch killings across Australia didn’t result in men being told to avoid pubs after certain hours, or even to drink less to perhaps reduce their likelihood of becoming victims. Instead it prompted the One Punch Can Kill program which has garnered huge public and political support and seen such attacks re-labelled a “coward’s punch”, with some states introducing mandatory sentences for so-called one-punch killers.

Every physical or sexual attack on a woman – whether by her partner, someone else she knows or a stranger – should likewise be considered cowardly and unacceptable.

The real place to begin making change is by encouraging respect for all girls and women. A program exists in some Australian schools where male role models such as football players speak to groups of male students about the importance of respecting women, of treating them as peers and equals, of understanding that no means no. It should occur in every school.

And rather than accepting excuses for violence against women – he was drunk, it only happened once, the assault wasn’t “serious”, it was out of character, she provoked him – every instance should be condemned by the perpetrator’s mates, and severely punished by the courts.

The case of Adrian Bayley, who murdered Melbourne woman Jill Meagher and attacked two other women while on parole for earlier raping two sex workers, is just one example of how Australian courts have repeatedly let down female victims of violence.

Tough sentences and non-parole periods are vital.

But words are also important.

Making excuses for male attackers and showing them leniency makes other violent men think there are justifications, and it makes female victims feel that their lives are worth less. It also dismisses the long-term effect that violence has on a woman’s life and those of her family members.

Ultimately, it makes all girls and women feel less safe.

Suzie Keen is InDaily’s features editor.

 

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